Let's face it: Not everything kids do is cute. While some parents ooh and aah over their children's adorable antics, we prefer to call it like we see it. Ill-behaved children have a tendency to ruin special occasions -- especially weddings. Now, we're not saying kids should be excluded from ceremonies where couples say "I do" (though there's something to be said for adults-only weddings, particularly if some of the guests' children are known troublemakers), but we are saying one or two rambunctious, attention-seeking offspring can wreak havoc on someone's special day. Trust us, we've seen it. How bad can it really be, you ask? Well, we've seen cakes toppled, dresses stained, vows interrupted and guests stalked and frightened (yes, seriously). We've seen brides plead, beg and scream in frustration, and grooms reach their boiling points. Have you ever gone to a highly anticipated movie only to have the entire film ruined by a screaming baby? Well, imagine that at your wedding.

Babies cry; it's not their fault, and when guests arrive at your wedding with tots in tow, you know there's going to be some periodic wailing. But if parents are negligent in their duties, your wedding will be remembered more for the screaming infant than for your deeply felt vows, the candlelit service or your five-tiered wedding cake. Well, we once saw (and heard) a babe wailing so loudly that the bride and groom's vows were rendered completely inaudible. It was so bad that the bride even turned and gave the child's parents a pleading look, but received nothing back but blank stares. The parents and their screaming child were not-so-conspicuously absent at later weddings in the same social circle, but that didn't help the couple whose big day was irrevocably ruined by poor parenting skills and one child's shockingly loud pipes. Not that you'd bring your newborn to a wedding, but babies' cries don't usually involve tears until they're between two and four months old.

Although newborns have both basal and reflex tearing (meaning their tear ducts keep their eyes wet, and they can illicit tears as a reflex), it takes several months for them to develop psychic tearing, where crying is related to emotional distress. We all know kids love to text. OK, so adults do, too, but we know when to put the phone away. If there were ever a time and place to shut off your mobile device, it's during a wedding ceremony. Apparently, some kids didn't get the memo. We were at a wedding where a group of several children, each separated by a few rows, began texting each other. Every five seconds or so, the kids' various alerts would echo throughout the chapel, soon followed by shrieking laughter, obnoxious catcalls or shouted verbal responses. Sounds bad, right? Well, ipads prices they started doing this when the bride began walking down the aisle and didn't stop until after the vows. The groom was so angry, he nearly started a fight with one of the kid's parents after the service, and the couple asked all of the offending parents and their children to skip the reception.

But then he smashed a piece onto his older brother's suit coat, and soon enough, it was an all out cake war. Before long, there was cake in guests' hair, clothing and everywhere else. Pieces of balled-up cake floated in the punch bowl, and seats, tables and stretches of floor were lined with crumbs and frosting. It was funny at first, but the bride and groom weren't laughing when they had to spend the remainder of the reception cleaning up the rented space, while the guests took their cake-smeared children home early. Cakes have played an important role in weddings for thousands of years, but they weren't always eaten. Marriages were sealed only after the groom smashed a barley cake into his bride's head in ancient Rome, and medieval brides and grooms locked lips over a mound of buns. Your first dance as man and wife is a big deal. There's nothing like softly swaying across the dance floor with your new partner.

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